The answer is...

Yes, its really bad that you do that. Especially when it was a huge test and plot started by both boys, nevermind guys, these are boys. And BOY do I feel like a loser.

Hey boys, FUCK YOU BOTH.
Didn't get a chance to mess with boy #2, however, I did realize his self-proclaimed man stick wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Boy #1...thats a different story. Even still, fuck you both.

:) Yeah, that felt good.

Is it really bad when....?

I wish someone would read and answer this question for me....

How bad is it when you hook up with a good friend of the guy you hooked up with a few months ago?

Guy #1 and I established we were just fuck-buddies, so there was no emotional attachment whatsoever, we stopped banging all together and now I kinda sorta hooked up with his friend, and by kinda sorta I mean it wasn't sex - yet. We do plan on it though, that was discussed. Now, guy #2 has no idea I even know guy #1 and vice versa. I'm assuming this will eventually come out...and I'm not sure how to go about it at all. I've never done anything like this before.

I'm sorry but it's a double standard when it comes to guys/girls doing this. Girls are automatically considered sluts, and guys are champs. I'm not a slut, it's not in my nature to sleep around at all, but I was in a very longggggg relationship for many years, and I need a little ME time and that includes exploring & enjoying variety.

Well...this question is in my head but at the same time, all I can think about is how Guy #2 is going to lay pipe...

If its meant to be...will it be?

So I blogged about meeting someone great. I'm usually pretty quick about finding flaws and things like that which usually cause me to look away and not set myself up for shit.

Now I hadn't spoken with him in a while, but he's a work horse, for the line of work he's in - I didn't question it. We didn't say we were exclusive either, and I'm not the jealous type at all, so it didn't phase me at all. He called me yesterday, we spoke for a good 45 mins about the things that were going on, basic convo. Then bang - he says he really likes me but....he thinks the timing isn't right. I was pretty surprised by this so I asked why and he gave me valid reasons. He did say that he was torn about it all weekend and that he wasn't sure he was making the right decision. I don't think he's feeding me bullshit or lines at all. I do believe he's genuine, probably one of the most genuine people I have met in a very long time. I respect his honesty. I'm a little hurt, because I enjoyed his company.

The big deal about it was that he said that in a few months he wants to see whats up with me, keep in touch and perhaps pick up where we left off, because he says that "I'm everything he wants in a woman" Now that sounds corny as fuck, but he explained his reasoning for it and it's not that I'm perfect because I'm definately not, or nowhere near it. He just says that I'm real and that he doesn't feel like he has to wine & dine me because I'm not that type of girl. Very true. I don't need fancy dinners, and material things to butter me up.

Anyway so that is that. We will keep in touch occasionally and see what the future holds for us. What's meant to be will be...a mutual understanding between the both of us.

Rainy Days

Today was a miserable day, weather-wise. I pretty much spent the day curled up in bed, under the covers - however I was pretty constructive. I am on the hunt for a job, I hate to even call it a job, it's more like my career choice - I find the word job sounds so forced. This is something I want to do, somewhere I want to be. It's more than a job to me. Well anyway, as I am sending my resume in to a few places, I get a call....

Two months ago, I applied to a really great place, and today I got a call from the main person, and he asked if I was still interested, of course I said yes. I have an interview next week. I know I'm qualified and I have the education to back me up, but I can't help but get a little nervous. I have to choose the perfect outfit as well. I have a few ideas as to what I'm going to wear and people say that I shouldn't worry. Come on though, first impressions are make or break.

People see you and automatically judge. It's not right, but it's so true. It pisses me off too, when it comes to piercings and tattoos, they think if you've got piercings or tattoos you're some freak. I have tattoos, and I can perform the task at hand, therefore how I dress and if I'm pierced and tattooed should have no bearing on if I'm capable or not. Like the old saying goes: "Don't judge a book by it's cover."

I guess rainy days aren't so bad afterall...

Gut instincts and good vibes...

I went out tonight, dinner and movie - it was our 4th date. Dating, it's so weird these days, especially since I've been out of this scene for long.  I just got out of a very long relationship, so it's like starting fresh again.

I seem to always have a good time when we go out though, I feel really comfortable with him, I can be loud & crazy and he thinks it's cute. He's got a great job, he's really good looking, tall, strong, he has really nice eyes, and I catch him looking at me every now and then.  He has dimples, and he this big warm smile. I feel at ease with him and to be honest, it kind of freaks me out. He can dance, and so can I - such a bonus. We were listening to his cd of fave songs, and we were both singing along and dancing, I felt like a teenager all over again.

We have really great chemistry, and our conversations are pretty in-depth. It's so rare to find someone to connect with, on my level. Tonight the conversation was really good, we spoke about future wants, and I know it's way too early to even think of settling down, but I really get a good feeling about him. He's made it quite clear he wants to continue seeing me, but most of the time "guy code" is hard to decipher.

He's romantic and manly all at once. He's such a gentleman, he opens doors, even car doors. He holds hands, gives really amazing tight hugs and soft sweet kisses.

In conclusion, I had a great night, and I'm looking forward to the next time I see him.

First Things First

Let me start off by saying I don't think I'm better than anyone, however, I do voice my opinions quite loudly and sometimes rather abrupt. I don't take offence to much, except of course the infamous 'C' word. I'm not a fan and if you called me one, I'd probably stab you in the eyeball with a giant pitchfork. (just a warning) I tend to you use slang, I swear all the time and I've been told I'm very un-ladylike. I'm blunt and honest, and sometimes people can't handle that, I don't try to purposely hurt people - but I tell the truth, and most of the time - the truth hurts.

I grew up around boy cousins, neighbours and had a lot of guy friends. I'm not a lesbian, not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'm a big fan of d*ck. By the way, I can take a joke, and make one. Sarcasm is awesome, and easily misunderstood.

I should really work on the cursing though, I swear way too fcuking much.

I have a sensitive girlie side, as well. I LOVE to dress up and have fun. Shopping is fun when there's money to be spent. Music is awesome, well good music that is. Loud, pounding bass is what makes me happy. I love to dance.

Cooking is my life. It's what I do, it's what I was meant to do. Food is what brings people together. I have a passion for creation, and I've always been artistic, putting the two together has made the possibilities endless for me.

Above all, I am myself, and at the end of the day, that's all that matters.